UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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