wrigley field is MILF paradise
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
