after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
