i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
