Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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