You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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