I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
