im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
