He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
