where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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