Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm just crazy horny about you
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
