Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
