Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
