I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
