i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
