Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Never let your siblings swipe right.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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