I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just puked most of my soul out..
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
