I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
