That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
