my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
