I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
