Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
