oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
