Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
