If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
