Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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