Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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