I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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