she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
