you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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