Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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