So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
