brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Everything about him screamed your future.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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