That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
