we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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