Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
