I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
