Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Even my vagina gasped.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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