If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I love having hate sex.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Terrible idea I love it
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
