Got a toothbrush?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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