Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
