Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
