So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
