party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
