I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
