yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
