Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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