i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Still dying that you shit outside
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
