Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
