dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
