Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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